


Tuesday

by everything_on_planet_earth



Category: Supernatural
Genre: I'm going to stop now, M/M, SO SORRY, Sad, This is really sad, Why do I do this to myself, first lines inspired by twist and shout, heart-breaking, i just could imagine, i was just re-reading the ending, im actually submitting this as my english essay, it made me cry so many times while writing it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 16:09:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4570938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everything_on_planet_earth/pseuds/everything_on_planet_earth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last piece of Dean’s heart broke in two seeing the blankness in the eyes that met his. No understanding. No flash of recognition. Nothing.</p><p>He saw the mouth opening and stopped him before he could ask.</p><p>“Dean. My name is Dean.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tuesday

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the first 4 lines of this fic were inspired by the ending scene of '[Twist and Shout](http://archiveofourown.org/works/537876)' (which I'm sure you've all read but if not, read it. It'll break you I promise), but I was reading the end again while listening to Elvis (I literally don't know why I do this to myself) and I couldn't help but vomit my sad story all over the page.  
> Plus, this is for an English essay that I have to do. So I thought, hmm I need to write more and I also need to do homework, so I did both.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy. I hope it tears your heart out.

He died on a Tuesday.

Early morning.

It was sunny.

The time leading up to it was quiet. Rays of light were distorted as they shone through the translucent window of the hospital room and thousands of tiny hand prints littered the glass just above the windowsill, echoes of children that had sat in the exact spot Dean was sitting in now. 

The seat next to the bed was worn down.

Dean stared at the photo that had been clutched in his hand for the past three months. The photo of an old, once-grand house. Two boys sat on the porch steps, with eyes only for each other. Dean couldn’t help but think how beautiful Castiel had been. Dark hair perpetually messy from his fingers running through it constantly, eyes brighter than the waves of the ocean that he loved so much. Looking away from Cas, Dean’s eyes landed on his own face from so many years ago and couldn’t help but notice how in love he had looked. He remembered why.

The day that picture was taken, that had been the day he was going to tell Cas he loved him.

 _“STOP IT!” Dean laughed, “Using my ticklishness against me is NOT FA -", his half-hearted protests dissolved into another fit of manic giggles as Cas ran the tips of his fingers along his waist._  
“We are SIXTEEN, ACT YOUR AGE!” Dean yelled, pushing Cas off him onto the porch steps after running his hand through his friend’s dark hair, making it stick up in ten different directions.  
_“Okay okay, truce” Cas said hurriedly, seeing Dean about to go in for the attack. Dean’s eyes glinted in the light, irises matching the forest in the distance behind him. He lunged forward, arms out in front of him as Cas braced himself._  
_Instead of the vengeful tickling however, Cas felt two arms wind around his waist, pulling him into a familiar chest._  
_“Don’t worry Cas, I won’t submit you to that torture, I’m the nice half of this relationship” a voice by his ear teased. Cas turned in the arms around him, facing the shit-eating grin of his boyfriend._

_Cas was sure that his watch stopped working and the world fell silent as he looked at Dean._

_He could spend all day like this, making constellations with the freckles that littered the bridge of Dean’s nose. He’d tried once, sneaking into his room while he was sleeping and mapping the night sky on Dean’s face. He had managed to draw Leo and was halfway through Virgo when his boyfriend woke up and called him a nerd, pushing him off the bed, blushing the whole time._  
_Cas smiled fondly at the memory, remembering how much Dean liked to pretend he didn’t like ‘that sappy romance crap’._  
_Coming back to the present, Cas softened as arms tightened around him and drew him in for a kiss. Before they met in the middle however, a click stopped them in their tracks._  
_The boys turned to see Mary bring down a camera from her face with a smile. She stared at them for an uncomfortably long time, smiling gently before coming back to herself and whispering “sorry” quietly as she dashed back inside. Once the door has closed quietly behind her, Dean leaned his forehead against Cas’s with a huff._  
_“Sorry about that, you know how she is”._  
_“Dean.” Cas said stoically, managing to look both fierce and adorable at the same time, “We’ve been together for two years, I think I’m used to your mum by now.”_

_Dean grinned._

_“You know I love you, right Cas?”_

Looking over at the head resting on the pillow, any trace of the boy smiling in the picture was lost in the sallow skin and sunken eyes of the skeleton that lay in the bed next to him. As if sensing a gaze on him, Cas’s eyelids fluttered before opening to reveal…

nothing. 

The last piece of Dean’s heart broke in two seeing the blankness in the eyes that met his. No understanding. No flash of recognition. Nothing.

He saw the mouth opening and stopped him before he could ask.

“Dean. My name is Dean.”

“Dean.” Cas parroted, “I used to know someone with that name.” A wistful look shone in the fever-bright blues of his eyes, no doubt struggling to remember the details of the man he once knew. 

“I know” Dean said softly. He didn’t say that Cas had told him that five times in the last minute. 

He didn’t say a lot of things.

“He was a good man.” Cas continued, seemingly alone in his world again. “A good man”. At this, Cas frowned, the crinkles on his forehead deepening. 

All at once it seemed like he was going to cry. 

“No, no Cas,” Dean said hurriedly. “It’s me, I’m your Dean.” He gestured to himself, plastering another fake smile on. 

He promised himself he wouldn’t do that. Wouldn’t explain to Cas again that he was the Dean that had spent twelve years of his life with him. The Dean that he had lived with up until three months ago. The Dean he had married.

He promised himself he wouldn’t do that because he couldn’t bear having to explain it all over again two minutes later.

But he did it and would do it endlessly if only for the joy that shone out of Cas’s face everytime he did.

He could give him this.

“My Dean.” Cas said, smiling with enthusiasm despite the sunken eyes and hollow cheeks that made his face look so much like the death that would eventually take him.

Dean smiled in return, face a mask. _Hide it. Hide it. Hide it._

He could give him this. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It’s been two months and three days since Cas died.

Dean still clutches the photo in his hand.

It’s a Tuesday.


End file.
